CONTRAST

My life is full of contrasts. I’m an Australian living in Spain, my husband is either around full time or away working, I speak Spanish and yet most of the time I understand nothing.

A few weeks ago I was at a yoga retreat as a single entity- (i.e. by myself) and the weekend before that we’d been in Denmark at Lego land as a family.  For some reason that particular contrast struck me the most and I thought I’d write about it.

The yoga retreat was run by my yoga instructor in a gorgeous casa in the mountains of Segart, approx 30 mins from my home and Valencia city. The group consisted of 4 Spaniards, 2 Australians, 1 New Zealander, 3 Americans, 1 Frenchwoman, 3 Germans, and 1 Brit.  A good demonstration of contrast if ever I saw it!

The food was vegetarian and made lovingly by the sprightliest 79 year old I’ve ever met. The accommodation was basic but comfortable and the atmosphere was calm, respectful and tranquil.

The retreat started on a Friday evening and ended after lunch on the Sunday. Our time was spent doing various levels of yoga, meditating, (my most challenging pursuit), walking in the hills, enjoying some free time, (which I spent writing or in conversation with other participants) and dining. 

I was rooming with a dear friend and it was like being on camp. The first night we both crashed and the second, we chatted like school kids.

The room was dark, there were no interruptions other than the need to wee and the novelty of not being ‘on duty’ was huge!!!!

In contrast to this our weekend in Denmark was a little different. Not bad different, just different.

Our decision to visit Denmark was spontaneous. Mike was looking at tickets to Prague and came across cheap flights from Alicante, (a 2 hour drive from VLC) to Bilund, (Lego land is situated at the end of the runway). The park was due to close for the winter and we thought, “Well why not”!

The kids’ excitement was infectious and if the truth be told I’m not sure who was more excited, Mike and I or the kids.

It was cold and damp when we arrived and we headed straight to the Lego land hotel. A castle tower complete with small green dragon greeted us at the entrance, along with jack-o-lanterns and Halloween paraphernalia, (Halloween was the following weekend).

We were all pretty excited.

Darth Vader graced the entrance hall complete with light sabre and some more pumpkins. A HUGE green dragon met us upon entering. It was wrapped around a tree house/ pirate boat, complete with stairs, which the kids, now beside themselves with excitement, ran up and down at least 40 times, while we were checking in.  A Lego throne, Lego figures, Lego pits filled to the brim and of course a Lego shop extracted more than a few ooo’s and ahhh’s and ‘mummy look, daddy look’, while we literally watched in delight.

Dinner, despite a little wait and the price, (yet another contrast- eating out in Spain vs. eating out anywhere else!!!) was fantastic. The children had little Lego packets on their pillows, the beds were extremely comfortable and we all went off to sleep together- bathroom light left on of course.

The next day, whilst not without a few hunger, fatigue and ‘not-quite-tall-enough’ blowups, was brilliant.

It started with the most amazing breakfast buffet I’ve seen in a while- possibly ever. We had direct access to the park from the hotel and 10am couldn’t come around quickly enough.

The park was very age appropriate for our two. We all had a huge amount of fun looking at the Lego constructions. I had to do a fair bit of explaining for the Star Wars section. I was all excited, making comments on the Millennium Falcon, the Ice Planet Hoth, Tatooine and the Mos Eisley cantina. The kids were wondering what I was on about.  Other re-creations included an airport, European cities, a jungle, the Wild West, Atlantis, Pirates, a castle, a trip on a boat around cities of the world, the Arctic and much more. Each section had a ride and both kids were able to go on most. Seb learnt about height and that he was lacking a few centimeters and Lilly went on a few roller coasters- one with Mike and one with me. In contrast to the last time I went on a rollercoaster- I had to squeeze my eyes shut and could not wait for it to be over! Lilly kept asking me if I was all right! 

They day went on and our weekend continued wonderfully with treasured friends who live in Denmark. 

What's become obvious to me whilst writing about the contrasts, is actually the constant between the two.

Both weekends were a lot of fun and both were enriching to me as a person and a parent. 

Hmmm I might need to experience a few more weekends like the above, just to clarify this...

PERSPECTIVE

Other people inspire me. I like the idea of surrounding oneself with people who inspire you in some way, may they be like-minded or very different- inspiration and creativity via osmosis!

The very same friend who inspired me to start this blog has yet again inspired me to return from my unintentional hiatus.

She's also inspired the topic of Perspective.

We've all got one and we all see things differently depending on our points of view. What I firmly believe is that seeing something through someone else's perspective is what actually teaches us and gives us understanding. Again, like a lot of the topics I write about- it's not rocket science and yet it's a lesson that gets repeated over and over again. It's also a lesson that you need to learn all by yourself.

I am part of the sailing community. My involvement in this community is, to a great extent, why my family and I live and experience the life we do.

My particular point is in reference to the Americas Cup, the 34th of which was held in San Francisco in September. Team New Zealand and Oracle Team USA battled it out on San Francisco Bay in what turned out to be the most spectacular yacht racing the world has ever seen, (for those in the world that were paying attention).

We have not been part of the 34th Americas Cup, and we weren't part of the 33rd either, yet even being on the fringe of an event such as this has an impact. Directly involved or not, the impact is felt and felt very differently depending on… your perspective.

We have so many friends who worked for Oracle, in every facet of the team- rigging, design, race crew, sail makers and management. YET, I found myself hoping Team NZ would win. I find myself hesitating at this point, not wanting to offend anyone, not wanting to let some very dear friends down, not wanting to upset anybody.

One thing you learn when you are involved in an Americas Cup, no matter what your perspective, is that it is a lot more than a boat race. It becomes your life. You make a choice to be involved and then it will dictate your life for the duration of the event and beyond. 

There were more Aussies on board the boat than any other nation and as always the Aussie/Kiwi rivalry is always a factor. Yet still I found myself willing the Kiwis to… please…win…that…one…last…race.  

To my Oracle friends who may be reading this and have now stopped, please don't. I just want to explain it through my eyes.

You see right now, I'm struggling with the decision to stay in Spain or return to Australia. It's not a new struggle by any means and it's not simply my decision to make. The pros and cons for either options- staying or going are many and varied. My rationale, (and it wasn't till afterward I realized just what an emotional stake I'd placed in all this), was that if Team NZ won, the likely hood of us being involved in a Cup again, was greater. The decision to move wouldn't be one we'd have to make, it'd be made for us and it would simply be a case of deciding when. 

Then there's the fact that in the grand scheme of the world, Auckland's much closer to Australia than our current location. I'm feeling the need to be with my family more than every few years! 

Despite my reference to the rivalry between NZ and Australia, our mentalities are generally very similar compared to Spain. These fundamental differences, for example, how long children are at school each day, medical opinions, food choices for kids and the general timetable here, are issues that have been highlighted since returning from our trip around Canada and the US. 

We also have a piece of property in Auckland that might have benefitted very nicely from the Cup returning to the City of Sails.

There was an image I’d created about being able to easily hang out with two of my favourite people in the world who are Aucklanders.

I was already swimming at the Tepid Baths again, (sporting facility in the heart of Auckland where I did all my swim training when we lived there 2001-2003), walking in the Whaitakere Ranges with the children, popping down to Wanaka to see some special friends and going out for breakfast on Ponsonby road! 

This was all a fantasy I'd created from… you guessed it, my perspective. 

It was hard not to smile and be happy for Team Oracle as they crossed the finish line victorious. In the same moment I was devastated for Team NZ and for the abrupt end to my “selfish” fantasy. As I’ve described, there was a little more going on than simply wanting the underdogs to win!

My perspective is that of the supporter, more specifically the wife of a sailor. The hours worked, the weekends absent and the stress endured over the several years a campaign runs, cannot be understood unless you have lived it. This isn’t necessarily uniform in a team, but it is apparent for all and it exists for both sides. This point was distinctly highlighted for me after reading my friends blog. Her description of how much it affected her was an eye opener for me- akin to studying “All quiet on the Western Front”, (what the Germans had families too!!!) So thanks Rach, it was wonderful to read it from your perspective.

Like everything in life- it's what you make it. Right now, we are in the enviable position of having too much choice. I had to ask myself, what would I HONESTLY prefer. The choice being made for me OR actually stepping up and heaven forbid, making a decision ourselves. A decision, based on information we have right now, that is best for our little family right now. It might not be the right choice, it might be difficult, but at least we will have decided and can take responsibility for the path that it leads us down. 

A bit of a no brainer really, no matter what your perspective! 

When did Merry-Go-Rounds get old and the Ferris Wheel scary!

I’m not sure what happened, I’m still trying to work it out, but I’d really like to know when did a Merry-Go- Round get old for my children and a Ferris Wheel, (and it was a small one) get scary for me!

Literally as we reached the highest point and went ‘over the edge,’ I was forced to close my eyes, (discreetly I might add) and regulate my breathing. I didn’t make a big deal about it, I even pretended to enjoy it, in a wavering voice, forced smile kind of way-“yes kids this is great.” The fact I even had to pretend made me sad. All I could think about at the time was, “we better get to Disneyland soon before this problem gets any worse or I won’t even be able to go on ‘It’s a Small World,” and the ‘Teacups’ ride you can forget altogether! I did think about my Mum and an incident that involved a suspension bridge, vertigo and two very unsympathetic daughters- I get it now Mum, I’m sorry I thought that was funny!

We are currently staying in Hood River, which is situated in The Columbia River Gorge region. The river cuts a line between Washington State and Oregon. It’s a outdoor lovers paradise- Disneyland for grownups as I’ve heard locals call it. If you love the outdoors, chances are you’d love it here. Hood River is especially popular for Windsurfing and Kite Boarding- not my thing but mountain biking and hiking definitely are. This region has it all. Mike was here for 5 days before he had to head back to Spain to work. We took on a couple of waterfall hikes together. Our second was 4 miles or 6.4kms, which I thought was huge for the kids. It wasn’t without complaint, but they did it and they loved it…in the end. Actually, before the end, which made it all worthwhile. The waterfall seems to inspire them each time and the trip back is usually a lot easier. We usually have lunch at the falls too, which, we’ve learnt the hard way, makes ALL the difference.

This morning as I was packing up ready to take on another waterfall hike, I worded myself a little differently. I was somewhat apprehensive about the possible barrage of protests I might hear if I said we were hiking, so when they asked me what we were doing I simply said- ‘going on an adventure.’ Based on some advice in the kid friendly guidebook I’ve borrowed, I mentioned fairies and trolls, suspension bridges and rocks to throw into rivers. What I can say is, apart from the long drop stench and flat refusal from Lilly to use it at the beginning of the walk, there were very few protests for the entire time- not none, but very few. The GPS thingy on my phone mapped us as doing about 7kms all up, which again, I’m blown away by. They spent a good portion of the walk, running and despite a few challenging moments, it was incredible. I drove home chatting to myself, (as I do) feeling very proud of everyone’s efforts, theirs for doing it and mine for taking it on in the first place. I know there are days when it’s just too hard but I also feel that the hard yards do payoff eventually.

It’s an endurance game this parenting lark and I feel like I’m in the perfect place to train for it! 

A snippet

For the last several nights I've been working on a post, but we are on the road and I've not managed to get it finished. It may too have something to do with the fact that my goal of regular posts hasn't happened. We are over 3 weeks into our journey and almost in Hood River. We have 3 weeks in that part of the world, so here's hoping the posts will be a little more up to date.
In the meantime, here's a snippet of the first week or two of our journey.

Sitting on the chairlift heading up to Blackcomb Mountain, we are discussing the possibility of seeing a bear. It's later in the morning and the chances are unlikely but not impossible. I suggest this to the children and Seb just sort of gives me one of his 'looks'.  "Mum", he says, "if you say we will see a bear we will, if you say we won't then we wont". I ponder this for a second as I hear the words both Mike and I say regularly to them, regurgitated in our sons own special way. 

"Yes buddy", I reply, "you're probably right". I leave it at that, there's nothing else that needs to be said.

"Yeah, " he adds,  "so we'll see one today and yesterday if you say so."

"Maybe buddy".

We didn't see a bear on the chairlift, but that's not really the point. We might have, and the mere fact that a 4.5 year old can believe in the power of words is pretty fantastic. 

It's most likely simple regurgitation, but it was in context and perhaps, maybe, just maybe some of the things we are trying to reinforce in the kids, are registering… I think so, I hope so. 

Well, so much for regular updates. We are now 3 weeks into our adventure and already heading down towards the US. Our first few days were spent in Vancouver with a lovely family in a place called Deep Cove. Mike sailed with Damien on the Mayhem and their fabulous home was a great place to ride out our jet lag. The weather wasn't great- lots of rain and quite chilly but we managed to see some great things. Walks around Stanley Park, a visit to a farm, Grantville Market Place, a great afternoon turning over rocks to find crabs in Deep Cove and a trip to Vancouver's fantastic Science centre. 

We arrived on a Monday and Mike had to return to Spain on the Friday, so after dropping him off, we headed up to Whistler to stay with my dear friend Caroline. 

We spent 5 nights/4 days in Whistler and it's truly a place I think I'd be hard pressed to design any better for the way I'd like to live my life. We hired bikes for the kids and all went riding the lake trail, caught the peak to peak gondola and played in the snow, swam in cold lakes, ate berries from the local market, played in parks, changed our plans after being swarmed by mozzies, ate icecream, celebrated Canada’s 147^th birthday and Caroline and I got to ride together from their front door on some fantastic trails- TWICE! The weather was amazing, the kids got along for the most part and we had a great time. I feel blessed to have had this time with my dear friend, to meet her family and to see her happy. 

More to come on the last few weeks shortly, including the Calgary Stampede a Waterslide hotel, and what the kids really like best! 

Adventure

I'm very fortunate to be able to participate in yoga. If it's a good week I attend a class twice a week- Tuesday and Thursday. Sometimes our instructor brings a deck of "Angel cards" for us to pick out.
They state and describe various ideals, for example wisdom, patience, acknowledgement etc. There is always an affirmation on the bottom that relates to the card topic.
Last tuesday I chose, (randomly and without looking) ADVENTURE.
In light of what we are about to undertake, I thought it was extremely relevant.
You can say what you like- coincidence, chance, whatever, but I chose to see it as a message and a reminder.

LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE

On Sunday we are about to embark on our biggest adventure in a long time. Sunday evening we fly to Vancouver via Amsterdam arriving in Canada on Monday June 24th.
We'll stay in Vancouver for four days with a sailing friend of Mikes, then we drop him off on the 28th as he heads back to Spain, (yes back) for a regatta in Ibiza.
The children and I will head up to Whistler to visit with my dear friend Caroline then we'll head back to Vancouver to stay at my brother-in-laws aunts, picking up Mike on the 7th of July.

The next part of the journey involves a road trip from Vancouver to Calgary and The Calgary Stampede- YEEHAA!
We then drive to Hood River and the Columbia River Gorge area where we'll stay for nearly a month before heading down to San Francisco. We then make our way back up to Vancouver, to head back to Spain on the 30th of August.

It's almost 2.5 months away. In this time Mike needs to return to Spain twice- Ibiza 4 days after we arrive and Mallorca end of July and he needs to rearrange a flight to get him to Sardinia on the 29th of August, instead of the scheduled departure date of the 30th, (our tickets are non changeable!)

I think that pretty much embodies the concept of Adventure!

The first line of the angel card reads,
"Life is an adventure. Be ready for the unexpected and make the most of all opportunities".
The affirmations states,
"I face the adventure of life eagerly".

Sounds good to me!

This week has been it's own little adventure in preparation for leaving with Mike in Mallorca.
Stay tuned for more on this theme, where finally the title of my blog seems appropriate.

"Mottlsmoveabout"

A Flash of Clarity!

I had an interesting discussion today- not the content of the discussion itself, rather the thought process it generated for me afterwards.

It would seem in this life we spend a lot of time worrying and wondering what people are thinking about us as individuals, what we’ve done, what we are doing and what we haven’t done. It’s very easy to get caught up pondering it all, (or obsessing about it in reality). It’s also very easy to be told by others, (who are perhaps a bit more comfortable in their own skin, thicker skinned or who simply have that wonderful constitution where they don’t give a rats) not to worry about it. I fantasize about having this constitution at times. It’s not that I want to be unfeeling, I’d just like to step off the wonder/worry wheel sometimes.  The ability to put things into perspective, to rationalize and to let certain things wash over me, are skills I am trying to achieve. I have hope I can achieve this. By no other factors than age and the wisdom and experience of life, I am hopeful I will get there.

What I realized today, is that everyone will always have an opinion about something. People will talk about a given situation, they will make judgments, and they may say they are not, but they are- we all do. It doesn’t matter how good a person you are, it doesn’t matter how much you do or do not achieve someone will always have something to say about it- good, bad or otherwise. You may be on different sides of the planet, your worlds very much apart and still someone may have something to say about a given situation. So here’s the thing, you can’t control what anyone else thinks. All your worry and anguish and wondering will not stop a thought process in someone else’s mind… so why wonder, why worry. It serves absolutely no purpose at all. What is important is what we think of ourselves, our own actions, the things we have and haven’t done- how we feel about that and what we then do to change a situation we aren’t happy with, or to recognize and be thankful of a situation we are happy with.

None of this is rocket science and for many it’s a given, but for me it’s taken a long time to realize what I’ve just discussed. I can’t guarantee I won’t be riding the wonder/worry wheel again but I would like to think that it’s a lot easier to step off than it has been previously!  

Skipping, Cartwheels and Perseverance

Milestones!

It's the 20th of May and today our son turns 4.5 and our daughter tomorrow will be 6.  In their minds at least the day they actually cross over from 5.5 to 6 and just 4 to 4.5 is very important. Along with the chronological changes there's been some major advances in the Mottl household of late.

Life changing, confidence building skills have been practiced (and practiced and practised), to a large extent mastered and there is no turning back- Yes, Lilly is into her fourth week at 'Big School' and seems to be loving it. She's learning a huge new range of skills from drawing techniques, writing and reading and how bricks are made, (fascinating stuff when the process is regurgitated from the back seat of the car).  Sebastian is very keen to run into school on his own- 'without you mum, I'm fine" and is getting used to not having his big sister around at school or in the afternoons- Lilly's school day is now 9-5 and Seb finishes at 1pm.

All these changes are amazing but I must confess my initial reference to life changing, confidence building skills is a bit more basic than that.

Lilly has learnt to cartwheel, and jump rope and Sebastian has learnt to skip. Two feet off the ground simultaneously- hippety- hoppety all around the place. It's a joy to watch, and I can't pretend I'm not proud of them, but there's more to it than that.  It's bought to light the idea of perseverance and what it can achieve, that along with the joy each of them have experienced by achieving these physical feats. It's all happening so fast, a few weeks ago I discovered Seb could skip and the very next day they'd both come home doing handstands against the wall. Goodness knows what tomorrow will bring.

Well tomorrow came and went and Seb is now cartwheeling. My fascination is in the process and perseverance both children displayed in their commitment to learn these skills. Lilly's been chartwheeling for ages, but they were a bit sideways and not really a cartwheel, more of a cart-roll.

One day, I noticed they'd strung up a line between two trees in our back garden. They then proceeded to jump over the rope, then cartwheel over it and viola, all of a sudden her cartwheels were amazing. Seb was learning from scratch so it took a little longer, but as of today they are looking pretty good.

Persistence- you can't get past it. You spend so much time trying to educate and steer your kids in a certain direction. So often it seems they are the teachers, they give the lessons, they hold up the mirror!  

I had a discussion in the car the other day with Lilly about this very thing. The idea of not giving up, the idea of not listening to people if they tell you something isn't any good, the idea of persisting and continuing to try. It resonated quite strongly with me at the time as if I had a little being on my shoulder whispering- "these sentiments are for you too you know"

The other intriguing idea that struck me while reflecting on all of this is that somewhere along the way we stop, or we forget how to be excited about the little things- I guess cartwheels and skipping to a child are HUGE things to achieve and it's nice to view this and put it all into perspective. I know I'm guilty so often of concentrating on the things I haven't done rather than the things I have.  Just another reminder to stop, smell the roses and watch the cartwheels ( and goodness knows maybe even do a few! )